never doing nothing

Is "doing nothing" a good use of your time?  

This is a really rough draft- I don't really know what the structure should be...

Some people think doing nothing is a good use of time. Take all of those people that meditate, for instance. Maybe they think they’re doing something, but I’ve tried it before and that’s what it feels like. I’ve never come close to a deeper mindful connection the world. The most exciting thing that’s happened to me meditating before is my foot fell asleep. My mom is really into meditation and really wants me to be into meditation but I just can’t do it. Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but doing nothing just makes me feel more anxious. Doing nothing just isn’t something I enjoy.

Actually, I hate doing nothing. I also find it pretty much impossible to do nothing. My short attention span combined with my inability to sit for more than four minutes worsens this problem. I can’t ever do nothing for more than four seconds. I’m a very hands-on person, sitting back and watching things happen is not my strong suit. Doing nothing makes me feel like nothing. It either makes me feel bad about all of the things I’m not doing, or feel bad about my inability not do anything. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing some spiritual understanding of the universe by not being capable of simply taking a break to take it all in, but I guess I’ll have to find it somewhere else.

The closest thing to doing nothing that I am actually capable of doing is sleeping. I don’t really like sleeping. In fact I feel like it’s a total waste of time. I often procrastinate sleeping in the same way I’m sure many people procrastinate doing things like chores. I mean, if you think about it, that’s 4 to 8 more hours each day you could potentially get back to do stuff. I could get a part time job and maybe pay for college if I stopped sleeping. I could learn how to play violin, become comfortably fluent in Portuguese, or write a book with that time. The possibilities are endless. (Well actually they aren’t endless because the majority of the population sleeps at least some each day, but there are still plenty of things I could do from my room.) How am I possibly supposed to sleep when I have all the things I could be doing to think about? Unfortunately giving up sleep for a new hobby or making a living would not be healthy.

As much as I wish I didn’t, I really need sleep. Sleep is healthy. Breaks in general are healthy. Since breaks kind of are doing nothing, then I guess doing nothing is healthy once in a while. Healthy things are always a good use of time. Like exercising, for example. A lot of people feel like exercising is a waste of their time; especially when they’re exercising and they don’t want to be. But exercising is still healthy. Just maybe not constantly. Eating is healthy to do sometimes but not constantly. Just like breaks, and just like doing nothing.

Maybe I should change my thoughts about doing nothing. All those people that meditate seem pretty at peace, and people have been doing it centuries so it must be worth it. ADD makes doing nothing more of a challenge, but maybe I have something to learn from it. Even if I don’t learn anything, it would still be good for the health of it. Everyone knows I could always use a couple extra hours of sleep, even if I won’t admit it’s a good use of my time.